My Sister Friend

When I started this blog I planned to write thoughts and ideas.  At the time I was really into coupons, which I still am, and it became all about coupons.  I still plan to post some coupons, but today I want to tell you about my friend Kacee!

In 1993 fresh out of college I landed my first teaching job in Chesapeake, Va.  I was assigned a mentor to guide me and evaluate my teaching.  Her name was Kacee Griffin.  I will never forget the first day I taught class.  The night before I dreamed that I was so bad at it that Kacee marched in and took my class and made me leave the school.  Fortunately, that never happened.  I also remember a few weeks later when I was sure I was good at my job, I told her about my dream.  I remember her laugh and utter amazement at my insecurities.  After I had taught there for 3 years I went through a terrible unexpected life change.  I came home to find my newly graduated husband packed and gone.  Needless to say the next few months of my life were hazy, sad and full of desperation.  Kacee and her family took me into their home.  They rallied around me and made me one of there own.  It was the first time in a long time that I felt like I had a real friend. 
Over the next 13 years I moved back to Ohio, started a family and haven't returned to Va.  I spoke with Kacee every few months and it always felt like I was calling home.
Sadly, last May my friend Kacee lost her battle with breast cancer.  She left behind a grown son, a 10 year old daughter and a husband that has been with her since they were 12 years old.  She also left behind a legacy of love.  Love for the hundreds of children that passed through her life.   I think about her often and many times I wish I could call her!!! 
Here's the interesting thing.  October 2010 was the last time I talked to Kacee.  I didn't know at this time that she was sick.  I remember thinking through the whole conversation how weird it was, I kept feeling the urge to tell her how much she meant to me.  How the way she helped me made it possible to have the husband and family that I had now.  I remember telling her 3 times that I loved her.  We talked about her mother and my grandmother and their battle with Alzheimer's.  We had a weird conversation about wanting to know what's on the other side.  I told her that I keep wanting to ask my grandma to make sure that if she can see and hear me when she's gone that she tell me.  We laughed about how you could never say that to a person!!  A month later through Facebook, I found out that Kacee had cancer.  I called several times during that few months, but was never able to talk with her.  Then one night at about 2am I heard a loud scream, my daughter heard it too and she ran into my room.  I swear I heard the words, I AM HERE!!!  When Madison ran into the room she said, "Mommy someone yelled, I am here!!" "Is someone here?"  I quieted her down.  At 6 a.m. I jumped on Facebook and saw all these posts saying that they were praying for Kacee today.  I sent my friend a message, I sent Kacee a message.  I was teaching my class, writing on the board and in my heart I said, "God please heal my friend Kacee."  I heard the words so strongly, "I have healed her, she is with me, there is no fear."  Luckily I now teach a college class.  I jumped on the computer and there was the response from my friend,Kim.  At 1:45 a.m. Kacee had passed away.  Needless to say I lost it.  My bewildered class left me a heap at the desk. 
It's now been a few months since her passing and I miss her desperately.  I need her guidance.  But, I know that all I need from her she already gave and her words of wisdom are here in my head and my heart.  I just have to access them.  I just have to remember that the way she lived and loved were the map to how I should also live.
I hope to be the same kind of map to someone else.   I believe that Madison and I heard Kacee that night as she entered the gates of Heaven.  I believe that she remembered our last talk and let me know "I am HERE."
I believe that though she left us, she left us equipped with lessons of life that we can now share with others and therefore she will never really be gone.  Now my task is to be that kind of person.  To be the light to others when they are in the dark.  To be the friend they can call after years and still find hope and love and home.  To show that no matter what I know who I am, who my God is and how therefore I should live. 
I love you Kacee Griffin!!!  I would not be all that I could be if you hadn't been given to my life!!  I believe you were God's gift to me.  And thanks to you I am now ready to be given away!!!